I look out beyond this field of Green,
Still nothing is as it may seem,
Yesterday has come and gone.
Inside my mind I’m lost as I’m trying
to find where I belong.
My eyes are often filled with tears,
Dear God how do I stop these lasting fears?
I know I need to stand tall and to stay strong
But these days seem to be too long.
I’m trying so hard to fit in
So tell me is she my enemy or is she my friend
The road ahead of me seems as dark as night
Yet I know I must not give up
I must continue this fight
Lord, for too long I didn’t feel your love
All my praying and crying just wasn’t enough.
I wasn’t listening, I couldn’t see
All my selfish thoughts were centered on me
I hated it when I came to this place
Frustration made it hard to see your face
I need You, Lord! I cried to you
The number of women in prison has increased over 400% since 1985.
94% of women in prison have not completed high school.
57% reported either physical or sexual abuse in the year before their admission to prison.
Over 1.5 million children have a parent in prison.
The hard shell that protects me is no longer there. When I say I am sensitive I mean the emotion of hurt is easily triggered. When people have attitudes or say hurtful things I personalize them. When one person can say who cares what they say, I take things to the heart. Tears are my coping skills. Tears are my healing. People say stop being so sensitive but what I hear is stop being you. Some people are thinkers. I’m a feeler. I ask myself why can’t I be a little harder, but I know I am who I am. Maybe everyone is sensitive but through life’s hardship have learned to put a shield up. As for me, every emotion shows no matter if it’s happy, sad, anger or excitement. Is it so bad to be sensitive? In this wicked world probably! When I was on the outside I did not feel because of the drugs. I guess it’s taking years to learn how to deal with my emotions without everyone else seeing them. Others may see weakness in my tears, but there is strength behind each one!